Monday, April 30, 2007

Reply to Yoda.

Wow! I can't believe it. By some galactic miracle Yoda actually reads my blog. Not only reads, does he, but offered words of wisdom in a comment on my last post. I mean, one always hopes that someone as legendary as Yoda will grace their blog, but I hadn't dared believe it would actually come true. I am truly honored. Although I do not have nearly the status and abilities as you, Master Yoda, we do have a little in common. I have been called the Yoda of the motorcycle world. A former student of mine presented me with a mouse pad with your image on it. Flattered, I am, to bask in your reflection.

Although I am disgraced to be wrong in my assumptions, words of wisdom you truly speak. The multitudinous small minded humans do not know how to responsibly handle horsepower. Consequences can be disastrous to themselves and innocent others. The words that end your comment are wisdom I shall carry with me.

You said "Well, I should ride".

I shall endeavour to do so at all times. These words will be carried with me in the same sacred place as a movie quote. It is from an earth movie called "The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly".

In it, the Mexican character is in a bombed out hotel taking a bath. A desperado comes upon the scene and proceeds to tell the Mexican how badly he has wanted to kill him all these years. In the course of his long dissertation, the Mexican pulls out his gun and kills the desperado. Afterwards, he utters these words dear to me.

"If you're going to shoot, shoot. Don't stand around talking about it!"

Your words of wisdom will join these in my heart.

Come to think of it, you, Darth, and Obi Wan have your own Good-Bad-Ugly thing going, don't you? You can guess who's who. By the way, what's this thing about motorists being the death of me? That kind of sounds like bitterness from someone who's legs are too short to reach the ground on anything but a skateboard.

Please forgive me. I don't know where the unkindness came from. Part of it is the fact that I'm just so flustered by the fact that someone as great as you has graced my blog. I'm stumbling around like a 'droid with a short in its circuit board. Another part of it is my humanity. I've not had the benefit of centuries of life as you have. I've also never had the opportunity to benefit from any sort of Jedi training. All I've had is Army basic training, police academy, and a correspendence course in locksmithing. I beg your humble forgiveness if my shortcomings have caused you to have hurt feelings. Despite my best efforts the Dark Side still influences me at tmes.

I actually hold you in high esteem. You would be such a welcome companion as I ride to work. Being small, you wouldn't affect the bike's handling too much. Dang, I did it again, didn't I? So sorry. I would benefit greatly from your being with me. For example, I could ride as quickly as I wanted. If a Law Enforcement Officer pulled me over, you could do your Jedi mind tricks.

"This is not the bike we seek. Go on your way in peace. Oh yeah; Have a nice day!"

Just imagine the possibilities in traffic jams. I bet your Jedi powers could levitate us right over it all onto clear roads so easily, huh?

I'll bet you like a little speed yourself, don't you? Maybe literally. You called ignorant, arrogant humans power-mad monkeys. I saw you in one of the new movies doing battle. The energy, explosive power, and lightning fast movements were astonishing. So much so that my oldest boy was moved to call you a crack monkey!

The only problem might be getting a helmet to fit over those ears. I'm sure we could work something out. It might be painful to have them flapping in the wind. Wouldn't it be cool to ride together? I know, I'm hoping for too much. One as great as you posts a comment and I'm already planning how we can ride together. Forgive my presumptuousness. Wishful thinking. Another trait of us imperfect humans, I'm afraid.

Thank you so much for gracing my blog, Oh Great Yoda! I shall do my best to heed your wisdom. Please give my warmest regards to Luke and the family.

Miles and smiles,



Professor Howdy said...

Hey Dan,

Looks like you are really intelligent. Am I correct???

Professor Howdy

Yoda said...

Long-winded you are, old warrior. Many words do you waste.

But for those who have patience, learn from you they can.

Good? Bad? Ugly? All human terms are these, and not applicable to my kind. Bitterness to the Dark Side leads. No need of long legs has Yoda. The Force it is that supports me.

My last visit this will be. Set in your ways, you are, old warrior.

May The Force be with you, always.


irondad said...

professor howdy,

Interesting question. It would be enlightening and intriguing to know the context from which this question arose.

Fond farewell, Master Yoda. Your visits have brightened our week.


Steve Williams said...

Man. I never have celebrities visit my blog.

I've never pictured you as a Yoda type Dan. More of a Han Solo Obi Wan cross.

You're having too much fun here.

Steve Williams
Scooter in the Sticks

Gary said...

Wow, you got Yoda over here? How cool!

But of course, I always thought he looked stoned, especially in the picture you selected here.

Maybe that's the secret to all his wisdom? Maybe that's why he talks so funny too... whatever works.

Ride well,

irondad said...

As they say, flattery will get you anything!

Of course Yoda came here. If I've told you once, I've told you a hundred times. My blog is out of this world!!!!

Or maybe it's because he IS stoned and didn't realize where he was.