Brrrrr! I'm pretty sure the mercury was over freezing. Yet, as I walked among the bikes, I felt a definite freeze. Quartering about like a dog picking up a scent, I tried to find its icy source. Back and forth, warmer and colder, I was narrowing it down. Finally, the process of elimination brought me to an unhappy conclusion. The source of the chill was a certain little Japanese beauty.
That's right. The vibes I was getting from Elvira weren't exactly going to be the prime ingredients in a morning Happy Meal. It was a strange feeling. Oh, I've lived an adventuresome life. Many's the time I've felt the hairs on the back of my neck stand up. Many of those times I've been on a bike. What was weird was the fact I wasn't on a bike at all. I'm standing innocently getting ready to start another day of riding. What have I done to deserve all these negative waves?
Come to find out, it was what I didn't do.
They say Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. Folks, I stand here before you to tell you that ain't nothin'! I'm telling you that no fire burns as hot as that which comes from an overlooked motorcycle. She gets plenty of attention. What this girl's after is public recognition. The look I was getting from Elvira burned out my eyeballs and formed ice daggers inside my chest. Both at the same time. Want to see what a really unhappy bike looks like? I'm warning you, be prepared. It's not pretty.
This was just before the flames shot out and burned me alive. My sleek, sexy, mistress was deeply offended. How could I talk about all those other models being used as police bikes and not mention the FJR? As long as we were on the subject, why didn't the FJR get top billing? The questions went on, beating on my head along with the fire from her eyes.
Once I managed to weakly pull my helmet on, I could finally think a little.
How do you win an argument like this? You guys know that when I say "win" I'm not always talking about coming out ahead right now. It's more like "how do I get out of this, save face as a man, and do the least long term damage down the road?"
My first thought was to do the typical "manly" thing. By golly, I bought her and I could just as easily sell her and get another one just like her. She'd better be doing what I wanted and be happy about it. Remember, that was my first thought, not what I actually said. Elvira and I both knew the power the bike has. Oh sure, a bike can be sold. It's what happens in the meantime that can hurt.
Picture a gentle cough and hiccup of the motor. Waaaay out in the boonies. Nobody around for miles. You've been on those kind of roads, haven't you? The bike knows she just has to bide her time. A rider like me will be back out there before too long. She knows I won't just leave her on the side of the road for the vultures to fight over. One way or the other, she'll get home. In the meantime, I'm the one who's going to pay. Let's try another tack, instead.
I could try reasoning. My post was about police bikes used by American law enforcement. No offense to Elvira, but there's not an American force using the FJR. Elvira's cousins are providing sterling service in other countries, but not here. She's just got to understand that. My bubble was popped because that isn't a totally true statement. The first FJR picture is being used by some American agency somewhere in the USA. Dang. I hate it when she's right.
So, in the spirit of "compromise" I'm putting some pictures of FJR police bikes around the world. The last picture is significant. It's a reminder that there's plenty of other girls on this globe. Both two-legged and two-wheeled. Are you listening, Elvira?
Miles and smiles,
P.S. Thanks to Dean for providing the links for these picture. They came from here. Click on the different country flags to see the rest of the photos.