I can't believe that it's nearing fall here already. Summer flew by in a blur. The passage of two more sleeps, as Bobskoot likes to say, will bring another birthday for me. These days I'm feeling every one of them. This caught my eye at a recent classic car show. Not only did it catch my eye, but I can feel myself starting to relate. Maybe not chronologically, quite yet, but certainly mentally. I'm old enough that the AARP is very interested in me but I'm not yet planning where to live in retirement.
Have you ever been at a point in your life where things that were so intensely near and dear to you no longer hold the same meaning? This isn't about people, mind you. Those folks near and dear to me will always be cherished. As will friends. Those I have now as well as those I hope to meet down the road. I'm talking about activities. A person can start off having a passion for something to the point they willingly let it take up a huge amount of their time. Then one day this tiny bit of resentment starts to creep in.
You still enjoy the activity but other pursuits and interests have started to intrigue you. The time demanded by the current activity eats up that which could be spent exploring these new paths. The logical question would inquire as to why a person doesn't just simply quit spending time in the old activity and start spending more time with the new interests. That would certainly be a valid question. There is no simple answer, I'm afraid. See, there's this complication.
Passion, aptitude, and a drive to succeed can lead to being pretty good at something. Sometimes that gets noticed and a person is offered a chance to do something new. I'm a sucker for chasing a carrot on a stick held out in front of me. After a number of carrots are chased and caught a person can find themselves someplace they had never imagined they would be. On the one hand that's a pretty awesome thing. On the other, it also means a lot more work and responsibility. The more you advance the farther removed you can find yourself from what you originally loved in the first place.
By the way, this is the first time I've ever tried panning an airplane while it was landing.
Stepping back really isn't an option. I'm not the kind of person who is content to be there halfway. It would be too awkward hanging around the edges and not being involved like I was before. Walking away isn't to be taken lightly, either. A lot of time and effort have been invested in getting me to where I am. In some cases there are only a couple of people who do what I do. Doesn't seem fair, somehow, to leave now. I know the old illustration of putting your hand in a glass of water. Pull it out and see how big a hole you leave. In this case, conceited as it may seem, I think my leaving really would leave a big hole. Not something I want to do to them all at once. Gracious timing feels important to me.
Still, I have to take care of me and mine in the long run. Motorcycle training has been a long, fun, and rewarding ride. As great as it's been there's a real chance this may be my last season. I want weekends free to spend bumming around with Katie. My interest in photography is growing by leaps and bounds. Free time to spend making and processing photos would be nice. I'm enrolled in an online and correspondence photography course. It has economic possibilities. Eventually I could see making a living from writing and pictures. Of course, we'd have to live simply! At least until I can figure out how to write like Jack and make photos like Steve.
Having a built in model to practice on is surely handy, I'll have to say!
It's just hard to know which direction to move in, sometimes. It's even harder to figure out when you live life at a fast pace. There's no time for deep thought when you're trying to keep a dozen candles lit. I know it's not in the same league as things some people are going through. Not at all like the end of life thoughts my grandmother is having with advancing cancer in her 90's, for instance. Not like the constant ravages of a chronic disease. Nor like worrying every day about having enough to eat or a roof over one's head. Nonetheless, trying to figure out where to go from here often keeps me awake at night.
There is that classic struggle between doing what's right for me versus what's right for others.
There are times when we need to take the higher view of things. We need a bigger picture. Rather than details of how to do something we can gain more valuable insight from having navigational beacons. That's what I'm looking for right now. The first thing is to figure out what the eventual destination is. The rest of the journey can be mapped along the way.
In the meantime I've decided to take the blog in a slightly different direction for a while. There will still be motorcycle training content. That's what this blog was born for, after all. While thinking about my personal situation it crossed my mind that a lot of riders are overwhelmed by all the detail. Detail is great but not without a reference framework in place. I have been guilty of sharing a lot of detail. Perhaps it's time to go back and put some of that structure in place. Things make a whole lot more sense if we know how they contribute to the whole.To that end, rather than continue to delve deeply into the "how to" part of riding, I want to spend some time looking at it from a higher view.
Besides, things have been way too serious, here. It's time to have a little fun along the way, don't you think?
I'll share and explore the navigational beacons I've followed as a professional rider. It should be fun and informative. I hope you'll all tag along with me.
Miles and smiles,