I have a job interview tomorrow afternoon. Normally this would be a really GOOD thing. Instead, there's a huge struggle going on in my heart. It's one of those times when one has to decide how important something really is to them. Stated another way, do you follow good sense or what your heart tells you?
For the last three years I've been flying a desk. This is the first time in my life I have ever had a job that's been totally in an office. I DO NOT LIKE IT!!!!
Trouble is, it pays really well. I have someplace far away to ride the bike to every day. It's just that it's a small company. There are two estimators, the man who owns the company and me. There is a "sometimes there but mostly gone" secretary. ( Boss's daughter ) Which means that even though there's not a literal ball and chain I feel totally tied to that chair. The problem is compounded in that the Boss and the warehouse guy are often gone which pretty much abandons me to this situation. I have tried to make it work. Being totally an Alpha Male this is no longer tolerable.
I was tempted to return to law enforcement. The guys my age who are still there tell me not to. They're just clipping coupons waiting to retire. Hands are tied too much and there is way too much politics. I know they're right so I won't go there.
So I've been networking. This interview is for a totally plum job as a manufacturer's rep. The pay is an additional $8,000 per year. The benefits are better and the job itself is so much more in line with my psychological makeup. In other words, a perfect fit. I've been told I have the inside track. There are very few who have the experience for this position. So what's the problem?
Firstly, I will have to relocate further North. That's not so bad. The kids are out of school. Katie's parents live fairly close to us now. This will only put us another hour away. No, the relocation isn't the issue. The problem is that it will pretty much mean an end to commuting on a motorcycle. By extension, this blogging which I love won't be here. I mean, after all, how do you blog about commuting on a bike when you don't? I could still read the other blogs but I've never been much good about being on the outside looking in. The job won't be like going to a location to work. I'll be covering a wide area doing calls and such. It will all be done in a dreaded "box". I thought about riding to the office and driving from there. Trouble is, I would only be at the office one day a week.
My heart tells me I don't want to give up two-wheeled commuting. I know it sounds weird to hold back from this opportunity for that reason. It's not the money. Money is only the currency. Life is what we do; our family and friends. I do want badly to leave where I am and how often do these kind of things come along? On the other hand, my two wheeled lifestyle is a part of me, not just an activity. I looked back at some previous blog entries I made. A few times I stated "It's what I do, it's who I am". Living on a bike really IS a big part of me. It will not go away lightly.
So here's what I'm going to do. I'm showing up on the bike. Yes, this is a shirt and tie interview. If they are bothered by a little helmet hair and the helmet under my arm, too bad. They might as well be aware from the start that bikes are me. I claim out loud that I'm just being myself. It might be that I'm trying to sabotage myself. The reasonable thing to do would be not even interview. I'd like to at least test myself. If I'm offered the position I can always turn it down. I'd just like to know I was the successful candidate instead of always wondering "what if'?
Interesting situation, isn't it? I'll let you know how things progress.